Cons: Hyphenated last names can also lead to administrative hassles. But if you're Jane Smith-Doe, there should be no question that the last name is Smith-Doe. Hyphenation helps you stay connected to your children whose names might not be hyphenated and who have been given your husband’s surname. All the ladies I know who did it are very high-maintenance. I love it. If you have one that you find embarrassing or that brings the wrong kind of attention, changing it may relieve you of a lot of embarrassment or hassle. (Need opinions.) Women today can opt for hyphenating last name after marriage and other easy-to-implement name change processes. Flag; 35 Comments . I still have my identity...Although my maiden name was not common, and my new last name is common. Posted 11/27/2010. My maiden name kept getting left off of important documents - our BMV wouldn't let me put all my names on my driver's license, etc. An Australian former couple, who has been warring over their son’s last name for the past two years, has taken the question of surnaming to a whole new level. After nearly a decade, I still couldn’t decide who I was! Pros and cons of changing your name when married. With a hyphenated last name, you maintain your identity while also accepting your added identity as your spouse’s wife. Sacre Coeur? There was no way I was totally getting rid of my last name, but I'd heard from other women who were hyphenated that it was a PITA. Required fields are marked *. Or leave it as is. A new last name can represent a new beginning for a family which can be powerful. Tags: hyphenated names hyphenated marriage. Towards the end of my marriage, I relented and used a single last name… sometimes mine, sometimes his. When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name.I 100% agree with this. I just added DH's last name as a second last name and kept the rest of my name the same. They can be lengthy: Make sure you consider how long your name will be when joined together via a hyphen. There's no one solution for any of this. I hyphenated and don't regret my decision at all. For example, there's Jane Smith Doe. Yours is way cooler. If you’re an unmarried parent, we have an article that may help: Children of Unmarried Parents. Egalitarian/non-patriarchal/non-sexist (see previous two) and. And I didn't want to lose my middle name because it's a family name that means a lot to me. Pros of a Name Change. If you both know that you are keeping your own last names, there is no reason to stress over what you should do. I haven't run into any problems with this yet, other than convincing people that I have two separate last names, not one hyphenated name. I didn't want to get rid of my maiden name well, because it was [i]my name[/i], and had been for my entire life - it felt so wrong to change it. I would never assume a person had 2 last names. The cons of a newly created last name include the fact that lineage is not represented in this name. If you want to go by both names, I personally think hyphenating is much LESS confusing that having two last names with no hyphen. 1. Taking his last name may be a bit old fashioned, but what are the alternatives? Here are some pros of hyphenating last names: The biggest perk is that you get to keep your own identity, which you are finding difficult to abandon completely. I WANT to take his last name. My last name IS a strong part of my identity. Hyphenating last name after marriage: the pros and cons . The pros of creating a new last name include the fact that the parents have creativity and choice in the selection. And, if you're having kids, would their names be hyphenated also? My wedding is coming up next month-yay! Some don't like that the kids just get H's last name when they're both their children, etc. Advantages of not changing your name after marriage. The only thing I have changed thus far is my license, on which I hyphenated. Thank you so much, Kat! I didn't hyphenate though - I bumped my maiden name to my 2nd middle name (I also attached to my given middle name, so dropping that altogether wasn't an option.) Hyphenating your last name allows you to maintain your identity while also accepting your spouse’s. Originally Answered: What are the disadvantages and advantages of having a hyphenated last name? Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window). When they had kids they had her last name as their middle name and then their fathers last name. By Kristi Gustafson Barlette on April 2, 2010 at 11:45 AM. Hyphenated names: the pros Most women choose to change their last names after marriage … Occasional confusion: Some people ignore hyphens and have no … When we have kids, they will have DH'sLastName/my new last name.So, it's not as confusing as it sounds - I just couldn't choose which name to drop and just kept them both. Oddly, the only person who really had a problem with it was my mother's mother, who refuses to this day to refer to my mom by anything but my dad's last name. 1; … Once upon a time, I had the chance to move to the happiest country in the world! I mostly go by Alicia de HisLastName down here. It allows you to retain your identity while still legally adopting your partner's moniker. Yikes. Thanks to all for replying. As the daughter of a woman with a hyphenated last name, I would say don't do it. I go by First Maiden Married. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Keep your surname. My H has no opinion or problem with it either way...just wanted to get some opinions.I wanted to ask the ladies who have hyphenated their names post-marriage for any insight they can provide in to the pros and cons of doing so. Hyphenating last name after marriage: the pros and cons The legal formalities regarding the change of name after marriage have certainly changed over the years. Keeping your own last name might just be a simpler practical solution, even just for the ease of knowing that your name can stay yours and you won’t have to navigate the weird in-between period where half of your business cards have one name and … Hyphenating my name was a namby pamby way to go. Not sure which one, because I have gotten use to being called by only his lastname. I knew a guy who had a hyphenated last name and each part was 3-4 syllables. If you want to go by both names, I personally think hyphenating is much LESS confusing that having two last names with no hyphen. "I Did It": Parents-to-be Stephanie and … Motherhood had introduced all kinds of other unexpected things into my life (extended breastfeeding and doing elaborate song-and-dance routines to get my kids to eat vegetables), so I felt more comfortable doing something a bit … People get confused, and sometimes use her whole hyphenated last name, and others sometimes just use her last name. Your friends, clients, and colleagues … The downside of this is that it literally states that I belong to him, but that's just language semantics, Oh, and our children will be named: Name MiddleName HisLastName MyLast Name, Expat, do you guys plan to live in Mexico always? Any other viewpoints/opinions are greatly appreciated!Thank you!! It just seems to complicate things. I'm more attached to my maiden name than my middle name. You still keep your name. I guess I just have to think about it!Thanks again! The biggest advantage of hyphenated last names is the absence of having to choose between two last names. My brother and I took our dad's last name. Cons: Whichever partner's last name is not used will have that name fall even further out of the public sphere. Good morning! 50 k, This error message is only visible to WordPress admins. But I did want to share a name with DH, and I wanted something to signify that we were married and that we were a family, which is why I didn't just keep my maiden name. I knew a couple where the wife kept her last name. If you are going through a paternity case in Missouri, Illinois, Kansas, or … View original. He mentioned the middle name thing to me, and I think that might be what I go with. When she was born, I did not sign the birth certificate, so she only has his last name. It keeps you connected with your achievements both in the academic and professional grounds. If you decide to go with a merged last name or create a new one, it’s very important to thoroughly consider all the pros and cons of your last name change. Determine if one spouse or both are going to forward with your last name change. My mom didn't change her name her name when she married my dad. Marriage brings in a lot of major changes in life and it … I think it's cool. You can choose a name you want, short of something obscene or one that would violate … Your friends, colleagues, and clients won’t lose track of you after your name change. My boyfriend doesn't want to for obvious emotional reasons and has only been able to respond to her requests with the reasoning 'I am not comfortable with changing their last names… I did the same thing as you: chose a new last name after my divorce that was significant only to me. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. Can you drop your middle name and keep your maiden? Unfortunately, it's also 9 letters with a capital letter in the middle. Keeps your professional identity. Just curious. 1. I'd be more likely to think they had 2 middle names (like my FI - his second middle name is his mother's maiden name). Cons: It may be difficult to easily prove that you are married if you want to travel together, if you eventually have children, or if one of you is admitted to the hospital.Chang… I'm fine going by DH's last name socially - we received monogrammed towels that we got for the wedding that I love that have his last name's initial, and I have no problem signing our Christmas cards as "The Jones family" or responding to wedding invitations as "Mr. and Mrs. Jones". So, from now on, I’ll go by Mrs. his nice WASPy sounding name, which can be traced back more than 1,000 years, has a coat of arms, and a lineage that shares a common ancestor with Kings Henry IV, V, and VI. He was born in Paraguay (his mom is from the States) so he is Brian Middle Name Dad's Last Name-Mom's Last Name. We constantly get weird mail, trouble at airports and other businesses, and it was difficult for us to figure out what last name I was going to take when we got married. If your state doesn’t … I … I did the same thing that gg and money did; First Middle Maidden MarriedLastName. Here are 10 pros in favor of changing your name after marriage: 1. Hyphenating my name was a namby pamby way to go. She thinks it's nice, too! I actually almost got dropped from all my classes in college one semester because my tuition funds weren't applied correctly because of discrepancies with her last name. When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name.I 100% agree with this. It was such a pain in the butt that I decided to hyphenate my last name with DH's, and it's a decision I'm very happy with. GL! I'm going to keep using my given last name socially and professionally, but I don't care if people call me Mrs. Hislast. So his name would then be Trey Evan Walker-Hess. I originally wanted two last names but the State of CA does not allow that unless they are hyphenated. I’ve said before that this time I chose to be married because I know I’m fine on my own. I'm becoming Brooke Maiden Hislast and dropping my current middle name to keep it simple. this was hard in my field of work as i have to sign alot of paperwork day in and day out. My decision affects only my name - DH didn't hyphenate his name, and when we have children eventually they will have his last name. My Fi and I have kind of the opposite problem. Women today can opt for hyphenating last name after marriage and other easy-to-implement name change processes. Like ggmae, I have four names (2 middle names). Your email address will not be published. Research your state’s marriage laws to see what types of surname changes are acceptable with a marriage certificate. haha. Hyphenated Names: Top Con’s. Hyphenated names: the pros … What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Advantages: Modern. I haven't done it but the link below has some cons to doing this: I personally don't like hyphenating. The only other option I would consider is "FirstName MiddleName LastName HisLastName". I'm very anti-hyphenating, though. Looking back, it seems like I had one foot in and one foot out from day one. I’m a long-time reader and I am enjoying the new blog design. On our joint account, I am FirstName MaidenName DH'sLastName, but on my own bank account I am all 4. Cons. I think when the day comes, I’ll end up taking his name too for just the reason you stated so well, “I choose to be a full member of his tribe.” Cheers to you and your new family! I think it's a hassle. It was her birth name and she adored it. Pros: You don’t have to go through the name change process and it won’t affect you professionally. Finally we talked to his parents about it and they're cool with him legally dropping his Mom's last name. My new initials will be BMW. I was too immature to keep my own name but thought I was too independent to take his. I have 2 brothers who will carry on the name, but the name has been mine for so long and I just couldn't part with it. Why did you decide to hyphenate, rather than just take your Hs last name? (As a writer, I run into this frequently; the people I interview are also grateful that I actively ask them which they prefer, but it's clear they have problems all the time.) it gets exhausting after a while. "A lot of places would automatically file my records under the last name of whichever parent I was with at the time. Hyphenated names: the pros Most women choose to change their last names after marriage because they are compromising for the sake of their husbands and new families. My last name is a strong part of who I am, and although I have two brothers to carry on the namesake, it still doesn't change the fact that I would like to keep it. Hyphens will confuse people and just aren't worth the trouble. But I'm ending it be, No tree? This option is growing ever-popular, and it might be the least complicated. What did you do? Some people want the family to all have the same last name. It's a very personal decision, you just have to go with what you feel is best. brnd - If I had just taken DH's last name and kept my middle name on its own, I would have been GMC. Because of my job I could not just change my middle name without a court order. You still keep your name! She has no brothers and didn't want to get rid of it. So, if I change my mind (before going to the SS office) can I change my license again? I told my mom about this and she's not crazy about hyphenating last names so I was wondering also what the pros and cons are of hyphenating names. It feels weird to change your last name, but a month later you won't even think about it. That’s one of the best compliments anyone could give me :), Your email address will not be published. I do not currently have a middle name. 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